Cookies!
by strawhat-alchemist
Summary: a complete and total crack fic I wrote out of boredom! No pairings just crack! FT. Heiji and Conan. While trying to solve a mystery they accuse each other. What could happen? Try to spot the Phoenix Wright references! Rated T last chapter up.
1. Chapter 1

Shiki: A complete and total fic for the lols!

Heiji: Enjoy!

Shiki: KYAAA! Heiji-sama! *faints*

Heiji: uhh enjoy!

* * *

"So who do you think did it?" Heiji told Conan.

Conan thought about it and said "I think it could only have been someone in this room and that someone is..."

He pointed his index finger in a very Phoenix Wright style and shouted "You! Heiji Hattori!"

Heiji shouted "Objection!"

Heiji slammed his hands down on the kitchen table and said "It couldn't have been me!"

Conan laughed and said "Really? Why not? Show me evidence!"

Heiji slammed a business card from a dentist on the table and said "It clearly reads that I had a dentist appointment at 2:10 at the time of said crime!"

Conan shouted a "Hold it!"

He pointed an accusing finger and said "You could've skipped the appointment!"

"Objection!" Heiji shouted.

"I have a witness who saw me! And even if I did I have a cavity! I couldn't have committed the crime!" He defended.

Conan then said "Then who could've done it?!"

Heiji answered "I don't know maybe...you Edogawa Conan!?"

Conan gave him a 'Not in a million years' look and said "Where's your proof?"

Heiji gave him a 'WTF' look and said "You freaking live here!"

Conan pointed his index finger and shouted "Objection! I'm too short! I can't reach to the top of the refrigerator, even if I stood on a chair!"

Heiji struck a thinking pose and said "Then who?"

Conan paced and said "I don't know..."

And so even two great detectives couldn't solve the age old question of "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"

* * *

Shiki: Complete and total crack-fic.

R&R please!


	2. Chapter 2

Shiki: It kinda sucks compared to the last one but I wrote it because of the review Helen the 2nd left. And the Eri in the story is an OC (Don't worry she isn't annoying) not the one in Detective Conan.

So enjoy.

* * *

Heiji and Conan were pacing through the room.

Who could have possibly token the cookies of pure epic pwn?!

That's when they spotted…

"Hey guys."

"Who the hell are you?" Heiji said wondering where the hell this random kid came from.

"Helen TheII."

"Helen TheII? What the hell? That's not even a last name." Conan said.

"Objection!" another random person named Eri yelled.

"Where the hell is everyone coming from!?" Heiji exclaimed.

Eri and Helen pointed behind them "Front door was unlocked."

"And my last name is a mixture of the word 'the' and the Roman numeral for two. Now let's move on." Helen said while dusting off cookie crumbs.

Conan and Heiji nodded their heads and tackled Helen.

"These cookie remains…Chocolate chip!" Conan said after inspecting them closely.

Heiji and Conan stood up.

Heiji pointed his index finger at Helen and shouted "Hold It!"

"So it was you!" Conan said.

"N-No! It was Kogoro I tells ya'!"

"That's your story?"Heiji said.

"Of course! And I'm sticking to it!" Helen said while pouring herself a glass of milk.

"Objection!" Conan yelled.

"Overruled!" Eri said while playing on her DS.

"You can't over rule me! Screw the rules I have money!" Conan said while taking her DS away.

"Helen! Answer the questions! Where were you at the time of the crime!?" Heiji said.

"In the kitchen…but I can explain!" Helen said while panicking.

"See? She had the perfect opportunity to commit the crime!" Heiji said.

"And she's wearing gloves so she wouldn't leave finger prints. Coincidence? I think not!" Conan said.

"It's cold outside the hell do you expect!?" Helen said while pointing out the window where it was snowing.

"A likely story!"

"Objection!" Eri yelled.

"Where the hell were you?" Everyone asked.

"Getting my lawyer suit. Anyway Objection!"

Eri slammed her fists against the table.

"It would be impossible for her to commit the crime because…she didn't know of such cookies jar!"

"What!? Impossible!" Heiji said.

"She was seen at the store buying cookies but if she knew of such cookie jar wouldn't she just take them?"

"M-Maybe she bought them to cover for the ones she stole." Conan said.

"No. She couldn't think of such a plan. She would panic too much. I mean just look at her." Eri said while pointing at the floor where Helen was curled up in a ball mumbling.

"…Fine we believe you but don't think we don't still suspect you." Heiji said.

Eri and Helen were about to leave when Kogoro was coming in with cookies.

"Hey what are those cookies for?" Conan asked.

"To replace the ones I ate…I mean…uhh damn it." Kogoro said.

"So it was you!" Heiji said.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Helen exclaimed.

Conan and Heiji just stared at her and said "Go back to your own dimension."

Eri and Helen mumbled something around the lines of "asshole" and left.

As for Kogoro…he went missing for 1 week and came back.

Whenever he was asked what happened he'd scream something along the lines of "Shut up, ghsfhsfj, Pokémon, everyone at the circus, Halo, NO!" (1)

Moral of the story? Don't steal the cookies of teenage detectives who can get you mentally scarred for life.

* * *

Shiki: Poor Kogoro…but oh well. At the (1) that line is a reference to a video on YouTube. It's a kingdom hearts parody called 'Organize this'. It's funny…so yeah.

R&R please.


End file.
